Hi Mamas! I am so excited to be doing my SECOND guest blog post! I am pretty new at this blogging thing, but I really LOVE it! For those of you who may not know, my name is IvoryB and I am a 23 year old Stay-at-home-Mom (SAHM). I am engaged to the love of my life, who I always refer to as my Fubby (future hubby) and we currently reside in Maryland with our beautiful six month old son Kaleb. Fubby and I met in college and were only dating for a year when we found out that we were going to have a baby! We are young parents and new to this life of parenthood, but we thoroughly enjoy it!
I myself am pretty new to being a SAHM. During my pregnancy, Fubby and I discussed our family plan and what we would want it to look like. I have always held a job outside of the home and never knew any other option. I wanted to continue to work (I worked up until the week that I had Kaleb) and did not see myself being a SAHM. I always liked the idea of being a SAHM and thought it would be cool if I could do it, but I just couldn’t picture myself actually going through with it. I mean after all being a SAHM isn’t a REAL job right?!
Growing up, I was never exposed to any women that were SAHM’s. All the women around me worked at least three jobs outside of the home and were proud of it! Any time I discussed the possibility of being a SAHM or if SAHM’s were brought up in general, the discussion was always accompanied by many laughs and statements like “only RICH people do that”. At the time I didn’t realize that not only were those statements false, but they were also spreading misinformation to an entire generation of women that could possibly be SAHM’s. Now that I myself am a Mother, I have of course become more interested in the constant discussion that continues to brew around the topic of being a SAHM. Even though I haven’t been a SAHM for long, I have a completely different perspective on what it means to be one.
First things first, being a SAHM is a REAL JOB. When I worked outside of the home, every day on the job I was working to serve my employer. I would be doing a service and getting compensated for it. That is what most people would define as a job right? Doing a service and getting paid for it. Being a SAHM allows you to do the EXACT same thing. Every morning that I wake up, I do a service for my family, my home, and get compensated for it. The service, the “employer”, and the compensation may be different, but I am still working and I am still doing a job. Not only that, the work that a SAHM does is IMPORTANT. From caring for the house, caring for children, running errands, and even running her own business, these “services” are just as important as the services that someone would complete at any other job. I honestly feel like there should be no comparison. The constant comparison produces judgment and sometimes division among women. We are all hard workers who are trying to provide for our families and whichever way you decide to do that is your CHOICE. My advice: do whatever works and is best for YOUR family and NEVER apologize for it!
Now I will be honest. My “choice” to be a SAHM wasn’t really a choice. I was laid off from my job and needed to complete one more course before I could finish my degree. I could have settled for any job after I got laid off, but I wanted to have the job that I felt God wanted me to have. I didn’t want to just settle for anything. Fubby and I talked about it and decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home, finished my coursework, and we would figure out the rest as time went along. I will admit, the transition for me was tough. I was used to leaving the house every day for work, being around other adults for eight hours a day, and having a steady income. For the first two weeks I was stressed out, overwhelmed, sad, and even embarrassed. Of course I LOVE my family and LOVE spending time with my son, but was I going to be able to do this every day? All day? What was my family going to think? How are we going to pay the bills?! These were all real thoughts and questions that I didn’t know how to answer. One day, God reassured me that my worth as a Mother, a Wife, and a Woman did not come from my occupation or the amount of money I made. He assured me that it didn’t matter what I did as long as I did it lovingly, joyfully, and with a servant’s heart. That day honestly changed my life forever. I was more dedicated to my family, my blog (which I started due to being a SAHM), and the work that God currently had for me. It is truly an honor to be able to help my family in a way that only I can help them. No one else could come into our home and step into my shoes. Being a SAHM is a one of a kind job J
As far as “rich” women being the only women who are SAHM’s…FALSE! I am not even close to being “rich” or “being the Jones’”. Fubby and I have money issues just like anyone else, but we have learned to budget and keep our priorities straight. Being a SAHM does not mean you are “rich” or that you are better off than anyone else. It just means that you have made a CHOICE to serve your family in a different way. Now some families may have different income levels than others, but SAHM’s come in all shapes, sizes, colors, socioeconomic statues, etc. I think that as women we need to encourage one another in our decisions instead of judging. There doesn’t need to be an “us” or “them” type of classification system. At the end of the day, we are all women and should support one another. I really think we need to learn more about each other’s perspective instead of assuming. I have seen this type of division in so many different aspects over this past year. I try to make it my goal to unify women, no matter the background, so that we can be strong TOGETHER.
I have learned in this small time of being a SAHM that it can be easily OVERWHELMING. So I just wanted to give you ladies a few tips and tricks that help me when I get consumed with SAHM life!
- Get up early and GET DRESSED. Now I understand that every morning is NOT going to be like this, but try to do this when you can. Every morning I try and get up before Fubby and the little one so that I can have time to get dressed and prepared for the day. I usually shower, change, eat breakfast, drink tea, and spend time with God. This gives me a great start to my day and allows me to have some “mommy time” before I have to deal with the madness that is my family LOL! Or if you are a night owl like me, sometimes staying up after everyone hits the sack can work as well!
- Leave some for TOMORROW. It is OKAY if you don’t get everything done on your to-do list. Things have a way of going the complete opposite of what we plan. Just take one moment at a time and whatever you don’t finish today, leave for tomorrow.
- EAT. I know, I know. This one sounds so easy, but my SAHM’s know how easy it is to skip this one! We get so caught up in all the dishes, clothes, pick up and drop offs, that we forget to nourish ourselves. Or if you are like me, you think Starbucks is a main food group LOL. Just remember that you have to properly take care of YOU in order to take care of everyone else!
- Get a HOBBY. Even though I know that once you are a mama your life gets taken over by everyone else’s hobbies, likes, and dislikes, but I think it is important to hold on to what YOU like. You could be a yogi, or you may like to cook, or read, or blog, or online shop ;). But no matter what you do, just make sure it is something you LIKE and it doesn’t take many brain cells to indulge in. My blog is my hobby (which I hope to turn into a business one day) and I LOVE IT! I love to write and create and I LOVE being able to connect with other people. Remember, in order to take care of everyone else, you have to take care of YOU.
Well peeps, I hope this post was helpful. I know I’m new at this whole thing, but I have learned A LOT in these few months. Please feel free to comment below with any question or your own SAHM stories/advice. If you have any specific questions for me you can always reach me through email at firstname.lastname@example.org! Once you finish reading this post of course, head over to my site at simplyivoryb.com and go crazy! As always, remember to flourish!
About the blogger:
IvoryB is a 23-year-old stay at home mom who loves her family. She currently resides on the Eastern Shore of Maryland with her Fiancé (Kwasi) and their six-month old son (Kaleb). Ivory loves being a new mom, writing, football, and everything Pumpkin Spice!
You can find SimplyIvoryB at: